Suicide Awareness Day.

I'm a day late. I didn't think up this post however until right now.

I'm sitting in my dual credit class (college class + high school class) and I had finished everything on Blackboard so I thought I'd work on some English work. Well I had to read two poems, annotate, and then answer questions.

The poems were The Ballad of Birmingham by Dudley Randall and Suicide's Note by Langston Hughes. The first one is just depressing and heart breaking about losing a child in the Birmingham church bombing. Not relevant to this post really, other than it already sets up the tone to be sad. The other poem though, Suicide's Note, is (shocking) relevant. I'd like to share it for a moment:
"The calm,
Cool face of the river
Asked me for a kiss."*

My "love" mark is still on my wrist from yesterday, and after reading this poem I just really had to stop and think. I've been listening to a lot of MayDay Parade lately, and that music is just like the most depressing music ever. (Good music, good band, yes, another post for another time however. Maybe later tonight.) I haven't been happy, and now is a good time to evaluate it as any isn't it?

I'm not saying I'm going to go kill myself. Let's take that off the table right now ha. But just think, you have felt sad haven't you? And people like you and me find resort in music. And poetry. And artsy things that no one else really can truly understand. Imagine feeling that sad that none of the things that comfort you work. Would the river ask you for a kiss? Would you kiss it back?

How upset do you have to be? Who pushes you there?

The anti-bullying talk is a little worn out by now, but in all seriousness, as someone who feels pain, other's pain, and sees pain all over, I am going to beg and plead for you to be the helping hand, not the hurtful push. No one should ever have to feel like they aren't good enough and no one should not have a resort. We all should be able to escape somewhere, whether it be music or painting or writing... it should be there. If you need help, all of the ways to reach me are here on this blog. I can help as much as I can.

Just don't be a statistic. Don't be a part of the reason we need a day like yesterday. You are beautiful. You are special. You matter; your story matters.


I feel as if I just preached to the wrong crowd, but I preach anyway. You can never be reminded enough. I love every single one of you who read my blog, and I really want to just say thank you for helping me make this something. Without you, I'd just be a girl with a computer.

Have a great day guys, and remember you are loved.

*Found in Perrine's Sound and Sense: An Introduction to Poetry Eleventh Edition by Thomas R. Arp and Greg Johnson

I Suck. I'm Sorry. Concentrationnnnnnn.

I think I'm the worst blogger on the face of the planet... scratch that, I am the worst.

Senior year has been hitting my backside pretty hard. It's the worst but this time I'm for real on my promise about doing better. Even if it means that I get no sleep and die of exhaustion. Totally worth it for you guys!

Anyways, since school has started and I have been completely bogged down with homework, I've needed a lot of concentration help. Don't know if you guys have noticed, but I'm all over the place. It gets crazy. And when I'm doing my work, or trying to collect ideas, I find it hard to concentrate, especially in my college classes.

I've noticed this weird trend though. If I put on certain types of music, I numb out and going into a deep concentration and I can get so much done. It's crazy. I typically put on Pierce the Veil or Mumford & Sons, but really any music works.

This isn't really that weird, but a lot of people prefer total silence. So I guess what I'm wondering is if this stems from the fact that I'm a music freak or if it's just me. What do you guys prefer?

Music for the Heart.

Everyone has a band that they turn to when they feel hurt or mad or upset. At least one song. It's human nature I believe to use music to heal pain. Mainly because music is so good at it. It says what we can't.

My favorite band, as of right now all time, is Pierce the Veil. It doesn't matter what mood I'm in, I can listen to them, and they up my mood. Happiness becomes escalated, and sadness is numbed. It's an amazing thing. Vic's voice sings me to sleep almost every night, no joke ha.

I fall in love with every song I hear by them, and when I saw them at Warped Tour, I fell in love. Flat faced on the floor with my heart on my sleeve. Everything about their performance was amazing, and you guys know how I am... I like my bands to be good onstage, in radio, and in the heart.

Personally my favorite song to listen to is Caraphernelia. It has emotional connections for me to someone else, but every lyric touches my heart. I can relate to everything they sing. It's amazing.

So who is yours?
Who do you turn to?

Let me know.
xoxo

Flobots: Rediscovered.

Okay, so everyone has to remember the Flobots. Right? No? Not so much?

Well if you do not know who the Flobots are, you will know one of their songs... Handlebars. Still don't know? Well then you had no life in between the years of 2006-2007ish. Sucks to suck and the rest of this post will be the greatest discovery of your life. Promise.

I remember this song in 6th grade. If you could rap the words, then you were the coolest kid ever. No lie. Even back then we knew how amazing this song was, without even really knowing what a golden tune we were listening to.

I almost never listen to the radio... way too many commercials. But for some reason the other day, I said, "94.5 now!" and changed to the radio. Lo and behold, it was on a commercial, but right as I went to change it, what song comes on? That's right class, Handlebars by Flobots. I couldn't change the station then, because this golden nugget from my past was blasting through my speakers.

As I listened to it, I heard it with all my new knowledge of music and realized, "Holy crap... these guys were geniuses." Every part of the song is an absolute work of a creative genius... from the instrumental to the lyrics, every part is just genius. (I understand the repetitiveness of this, but that's literally the word to describe this song.)

The fact that this is a rap song mixed in with alternative backgrounds mixed in with jazz roots. The trumpet in the background is my favorite part of the song, mainly because it's so original and the trumpet player is so good at playing. The lyrics also have such an interesting meaning. They make you think. I'm not going to try to analyze them for you, because the only people who know what they mean are Flobots themselves. This song is, without argument, way ahead of its time. If it were to come out again, now, I can almost guarantee that it would've hit bigger than it did back in the day, which is saying something, because it hit the top of the charts for the longest time then.

If you haven't ever heard this song or this band, here.

The music video straight from their Vevo. You're welcome.

I must go to sleep for my senior year tomorrow now. Whoot whoot.

I Suck. I Know.

Wow. So this girl has been M.I.A. for a little too long. I know, and I apologize right here, right now.

I really can only say that life has been kicking my ass lately, so it's been hard rolling. See - get ready for some life story - I'm going to be a senior. And I'm a very involved senior. And while music is my utmost and most passionate passion that I have, there are so many things I do that take up way too much time.

I will gladly say though that after cheer camp (no Internet, no time, and no headphones. What the hell was I thinking?) and after being on the verge of dying for the past couple weeks (coughing, fever, chills, pains, sore throat, headaches... fun business.), I am officially back on the blogging map. It's also been hard to find some new artists. I need to get rolling on PureVolume and Twitter (@Paige_Oliviaa) so I can find y'all some new obsessions!

Although I will say I went on a music buying spree the other day, so I do have some interpreting and opinion-giving to do! How exciting.

Well, as for now, I'm going to reward myself for finishing up half of my summer assignment (take that Frankenstein and Beowulf!) by getting plenty of sleep, so I may wake up, and go watch The Campaign tomorrow for the second time. Insert smiling emoji with teeth showing here.

Night lovers. Listen to that music <3